I ran across a series of videos on relationships. They all made some very interesting points. But I, being a storyteller, have to regale a story that actually happened.
One late morning I was sitting in a donut shop with a donut and a cup of coffee fidgeting with a new phone I just bought. As I was transferring my numbers from the old phone to the new, a couple caught my eye and they took the booth in front of me.
I couldn’t help overhearing the conversation. What they were talking about led me to believe they just met.
The lady started the conversation off with a concatenation of questions that made the poor man’s head spin. Questions that made no difference in the world to know. I was floored when she asked; “What’s your favorite color?” I’m thinking; “What difference does that make?” By the fifth or sixth question, I could see his eyes glaze over resembling the donut I was eating.
The questioning went on like that for quite some time. I was wondering why she didn’t ask him; “Where do plan on being five years from now, career-wise? Why didn’t she ask; What is your relationship with your family, particularly with your parents?
There must be a plethora of questions anyone can ask the person they are trying to get a relationship started with. And no, I’m not saying ask all your questions on the first date. A good question in the beginning is; What do you think of me? If you like that answer, wait a few weeks before asking; “How do you feel about me? Spread these questions out over time. Otherwise, the poor guy is going to feel like he’s under a spotlight. Guys. You can ask the same thing of the lady you are trying to get to know.
Relationships are an important part of our lives. Especially if you are looking for an LTR. If you do ask the guy where he plans on being in X number of years and he says; “I just plan on going where life takes me,” who wants to be with a person who is willing to live life by the seat of his/her pants? Unless, of course, you are willing to throw the dice at taking a chance of standing on a street corner with a cardboard sign in your hand.
I’ve mentioned in a previous blog that you have to have a person with the same attitude you have. Well, this is just a few questions that lead that idea.
If the other person just wants to kick it and go where life takes him and you want to go with your hair on fire to accomplish something, then, I hate to say it but, you two are not meant for each other. It’s better to end a relationship early on rather than going through the painful breakup after investing all the time together trying to make it work and failing.
Before I get into too much legal trouble, I have to confess the videos I found were on You Tube where Steve Harvey was on Tyra Banks talk show. Steve was promoting his book, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man. Mr. Harvey gives a lot of good advice in that book, though, I’ve never read it. I just looked at the videos and was impressed.