How Do You Know When You Are Ready?

That’s a good question. Even is I do say so myself.

Are you in a relationship and wonder if you two should take it to the next level of a permanent commitment? Here may be some things you both may want to consider.

  1. How often do you have disagreements? I hope so. It what keeps the “fires” burning. But…
  2. How do you get through those disagreements?

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This may be more important. Do you scream at each other? Can you sit down and hash it out? Do you ignore each other? And when everything is all said and done, how do you feel? I’m hoping you are feeling like it is all over with and no reason to think about it again. It’s done and agreed upon. You should never, but never have any lingering stresses about an argument. It will only come up again. And who needs that?

3. Should a problem arise, how do you handle that? To finger point as to whose fault it is, what does that solve? But I’ve seen people do that sort of thing. I’m talking about problems like the car breaking down or somebody is laid-off. Do you come together and try some understanding and support?

4. How much time do you take to talk about your relationship? I’ll let you have this one. All I’m going to say is; plan where you are going and how you are going to get there. But think about this question. It is my experience that not discussing this topic could leave you lost and feeling empty inside.

5. How much in common do you have? It’s good to have differences. But it is better to have similarities. That’s the glue that keeps you together. And it may take a while to find out how much commonality you truly have. You find out how much you have in common through talking and hanging out together. (Do I really need to say that?)

This is what I’m driving at. Couples are getting married and they think they are going to be happily happy forevermore. Six months down the road they wake up and wonder where that wonderful person went. You know, the one who agreed with everything you said and did. Where did that person go?

These are the couples who are getting married in their twenties and maybe early thirties. They are one year into dating this person and they think it’s time to make it a forever thing.

The Greeks; two generations ago, had a philosophy that the daughters never got married before twenty-five, sons — thirty. Back then, it seemed to work out fine.

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The kids, I believe, are not following the steps of their parents or grandparents. Guess what! I think you can figure it out.

The point is this; give the relationship time to grow and develop. Don’t rush things. It gets expensive in more ways than one.

If you have all these questions looking good for the two of you, don’t rush anything. If you have these things now, you’ll have them two years from now.

This may be a big pill to swallow so hang on. IF you are in your twenties, give the courtship at least … at least two years to anchor itself.

I have seen this happen time and time again. When people get into their thirties, we go through a change. I mean everything changes. Our outlooks, our opinions, attitudes, you name it, we are changing. And we got married … in our twenties … thinking nothing is going to change.

Well, it changed. And some of us begin to rethink the decisions we made in our twenties

Please understand, I’m not trying to scare anyone. I hope you marry the heart of your heart and never experience one bitter tear. All I’m trying to get you to do is think before you take that plunge. We, as human beings, and life never stagnate. And things will always look different years from now.

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