Before I get into this, I feel there is something you should know.
I’ve been giving a lot of advice on getting along with each other. What you need to know is that I am no psychologist, doctor or any expert on the topic whatsoever. All the blogs I have written have been based on my own observations, experiences and material I have studied.
My hope is that you think about the things I have said and maybe it helped you to some degree.
So why do relationships go south? There are as many answers to that question as there are people. Perhaps a better question would be; How do you, or what does it take to keep a relationship going?
Think back to your last relationships, romantic or not. What made them so special? What got them started? I’m willing to bet the thing that got them started and kept them going was the things you had in common. You agreed on a lot of topics. The ones you had differences with probably were not that important. Or they were and that is what kept the tie-in between you interesting. A good debate is fun as long as you don’t force your opinion down the other person’s throat. It’s okay to think differently.
Another thing that really helps is the attitude you shared. I can’t think of an instance where one person had a great outlook on life and the other one was so-so (or worse) about life and they were happy in the partnership. Especially the happier one of the two.
There you will find that the happier person soon becomes more like the so-so person and the happier person is wondering what the hell happened. He/she has no idea why he/she doesn’t have the zing they once had.
If they think back when they were truly happy and then look at what happened at the change of the attitude they’ll probably start looking at the other side of the table and start pointing fingers. Have you ever noticed it never goes the other way?
But it may take more than personality to change an attitude. Something may have happened to the individual. They don’t know how to handle it and feel pathetic towards the situation.
Talk to the other person. Dig deeper into their views and goals. Do they parallel with yours?
My point here? Find someone who has not only the some interests as you, but also the same attitude in life you have.
If that person wronged you in any way. Hash it out until it is resolved. If your previous attitude does not return there is a really good chance that you are involved in the wrong person. (Hate to tell you that.)
But there is an upswing to relationships. You always have a do-over coming. That is; if you choose to have a do-over.
I have learned the hard way that just because a relationship came to an end, that is never the end of the world. Granted, something has to change. Hopefully, it is for the better.
Oh, and one last thing. Nobody is saying any of this is easy. It still takes a lot of work.