There are all kinds of relationships; and I’m sure no one here needs to be told that. But allow me to go on with this idea for a second.
We live in romantic relationships, friendships, family relationships and you have the idea now. The one thing all these have in common is, they involve at least one other person.
Among all these lives we live with others, it boils down to; how good are these relationship? And we have a limited number of levels of relationships. Are they good? Are they bad, or just so-so?
The saddest of these are the ones where one party wants the relationship healthy and the other really doesn’t care. that’s one of the so-so relationships. Or at least, the other is bored with the situation they are in and doesn’t really put a lot of energy into the bond.
Here’s the thing (at least in my world). You can’t control the other person. The only one you can totally control is you. If the life you are having with your mate is one sided, that is to say, only one person is trying to make the relationship work, the only one you can improve is you. But you first need to know what needs to be improved within yourself. The end game is if the other person sees you struggling with you, he/she may appreciate you better. And this is not meant as a; See me suffering to make you happy, sort of bribe. No. It’s done out of humility and respect of the relationship.
A great place to start is to ask the person you are involved with. If you have been working on the livelihood between you two and aren’t getting the response you’ve been desiring, find out what needs to be changed with you. And let them know you are looking for stone-cold facts. This is not the time to be nice to you. Just make sure you are big enough to take the truth. Because you just may be getting an ear full.
If you get an answer like: “Oh, no. We’re fine. I have no problem with anything between us.” that would be the time you are honest with that person. Tell him/her that there is something out of place, not quite right–however you want to put it. Just let him/her know there is something wrong and you want things to be better between you.
In casual conversations, I have had people tell me that the marriage has gotten so flat. It made me smile when I heard for the first time when they’d finish with the phrase; “This is not what I signed up for!” It struck me on a comical chord. But I also heard the pain and disappointment in their voice.
On a sadder note, there is the person who blames the breakup of a relationship on the other person as if it was absolutely their fault. I have a couple questions for these misled individuals: Where were you during the marriage? Were you not there to live your life together with your spouse? Unless, of course, the other person went insane or something. Couldn’t handle something in their life and became abusive or something. I’m talking about the relationships that ended in boredom, sudden lack of interest other than boredom, All of a sudden you saw your spouse in a different light. You have to ask yourself, What happened? What can you do to improve yourself that would put that spark back into the relationship?
Women love to be listened to. Men love to be touched. Both love a tender kiss. And the list goes on. But you can improve yourself only. You can not improve the other person. Leave that up to them. It’s just the simple truth of the matter.